You Got It: The Turning Point Series

This is the Turning Point Series where I recall events in my life that changed the course of my journey in some significant, impactful way. I almost entitled it the TP Series but then thought better of it. Given the state of our world with covid and everything, I didn’t want people to wrongly assume this was the central spot to find the best toilet paper sales in the north (it’s not, btw).

In my late 20s, I found myself sitting in my ratty, old Toyota Corolla in the parking lot of an amusement park with ‘my Little’ waiting for the call. I had been volunteering as a ‘Big Sister’ for the organization Big Brother, Big Sister of Toronto for a couple years and this was one of our special bi-weekly outings. We were ready to head into the park for an afternoon of fun and thrilling rides when the call came.

“You got it.”

In that moment, those were the best three words I could have ever hoped to hear. Although, I realize it would be very unfortunate words if they, perhaps, came from a doctor calling about your confirmed diagnosis of an inconvenient viral illness. Then, of course, you wouldn’t want to hear “you got it.”

But, in my case, I did want it. I wanted it more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life (up until that point). Everything I worked so hard for those last few years had finally paid off.

When I got my first real job after graduating university, something clicked for me overnight. I knew the only way I would be able to get out of the situation I was in (miserable and living at home) was to remove myself from it. I had resigned myself to the idea that no one else was going to come save me or miraculously pluck me out of my plight. I knew the only way I could be successful at living on my own was to save up as much money as I could.

So, I started tracking my spending and budgeting in my sleep. I became obsessed with crunching numbers 24/7- especially as I saw my net worth grow at an exponential rate due to the fact that I spent very little and lived at home rent-free. I’m not a math wiz (surprise, surprise) but I started planning out where every earned bi-weekly dollar was going to for the foreseeable future; this helped me envision where I could be (financially) in a few years if I had saved x amount. This was tremendously valuable as I am mostly a visual learner. At once, I found myself hopeful and able to grasp on to a goal that was no longer “impossible” but within reach. I was passionate, enthusiastic, dedicated, motivated and more focused than I’d ever been. I only had one objective in view: save the amount of a 20% down payment for a mid-town, one-bedroom condominium (and then some- for the miscellaneous secondary costs associated with home-buying).

I still had a decent student loan to hock up, so the initial rapid savings was on pause while I threw most of my earnings into my debt load and squirreled away a small percentage into a retirement savings account (meant for first-time home-buyers) until the debt was cleared. But I was finally on a conscious, guided path. I knew where I wanted to be, and I had less than a handful of years to get there (I wanted to move out and buy my first home before I turned 30).

Even though home ownership was a big dream of mine, I had small dreams too. I couldn’t wait to sleep in my own room, cook my own food in my own kitchen, keep my place the way I fancied (clean and tidy) and do as I pleased- a place to call my home. During those few adrenalized years, all I kept thinking was, “I want this so bad.” And after viewing 20-some-odd condos, and negotiating back and forth for a reasonable price, it finally happened.

“You got it.”

That’s all I needed to hear.

After I hung up with my agent, my ‘Little’ and I cranked the windows down in my car and screamed as loud as we could to bewildered passersby.

Did you ever want something so badly? And when you got it, was it as good as you hoped?

 

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27 thoughts on “You Got It: The Turning Point Series

  1. What an amazing story! Your dedication and hard work are inspiring!

    My two biggest fears as a young adult were never getting married and never having children. So my two biggest “you got it” moments were when my husband asked me to date him (we both basically knew we were going to get married from that point on!) and when I found out I was pregnant with my first. And yes, both of those blessings have been just as good and even better than I imagined they would be!

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    • Thank you so much!

      That’s so amazing that you met your other half and your dreams of building a family came true! I remember being a single girl in my entire 20s just dreaming of finding that person I could share my life with and knowing how amazing that would be and feel. Then when I finally did find him it wasn’t as perfect as I thought it was going to be, in some ways, but in other ways, I certainly wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world!

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  2. I’m a big fan of those who can focus on their goals, not get sidetracked with other shiny toys, and have the self-discipline to follow their dreams. In a lot of ways, I can also relate to the desire to own your home. It was the only thing “material thing” that was important to me.

    The phrase that comes to mind is when the going gets tough, the tough get going. I have to imagine that your daughter will also learn that self-discipline and hard work are rewarded, but not without having the grit to stay the course. By the way, I also love hearing that you were involved with Big Brothers/Big Sisters.

    Sounds like an interesting series. I think we all have these defining moments in our lives that shape our lives. I look forward to hearing more.

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    • Thank you so much for your support (as always), Pete! Yes, one of the reasons I feel like I had the drive was because there was a reason. I didn’t have everything handed to me- nothing was ever completely easy. And I learned so much from all that hard work and all those barriers. I want Charlotte to have everything she dreams of but at the same time, I also want her to have a deep understanding of privilege and the feeling of wanting something so bad that she has no other option but to work her little butt off for it. It’s, sometimes, a tough line to tread – I’m trying! 🙂

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  3. What a fantastic story!! And I love that concentrated focus. It’s true if u put everything into wanting something, there’s NO reason you can’t have it. And you made it happen!!! I def have experienced that with my partner. I know it sounds cheesy but I was like u for my whole life wanting something and it was always this kind of love. So many tortured years of waiting and experiencing stupid stuff. And it took a really long time! But at age 38 I met him and after three years now it just keeps getting better, and I’m so happy 🥰💖 I can’t wait to hear more from this series, I love it!

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    • Oh Libby, I was totally in the same position! My entire 20s was primarily focused on finding that person… then I got tired of waiting and I just thought, I need out. My only option was to help myself and that’s when I guess I just decided I had to just move on.

      I’m so happy that you are with your person and you found the love that you wished so hard for! It’s wonderful and I never take any of it for granted! 😍❤️

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  4. This is wonderful and so inspiring! It really is amazing what we can accomplish when we make up our minds and then put in the work.

    The biggest thing for me is meeting my partner. I had been so disappointed in dating, so I made a list of the essential and desirable qualities I was looking for in a man, and then spent two years developing those qualities in myself and working to become the kind of person I would want to be with. Eight years in, it’s better than I had hoped and gets better with each passing year. 🥰

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    • The key was developing in yourself what you so desired in the other person- I love that you had that deep insight and worked on yourself. That’s so smart- I wish I did more of that myself!

      So happy for you that you found exactly what you had been searching for! 🧡

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