Cutting to the Chase

“Where do you see yourself in five years?” diningThe stranger from across the table looked at me with careful consideration; like someone who isn’t asked that question often but appreciates when it is asked (but definitely weird in this setting). This wasn’t a job interview, and he wasn’t a candidate for said job. Nope, it was actually a first date.

We had first exchanged messages on a popular online dating website. This was back in the era of “happy to lie about how we met.” Internet dating wasn’t as widely accepted as it is these days. Back then, the very idea of relying on a dating application to help you find a mate signified quiet desperation (at least to those who were having to resort to that medium). While my closest friends and distant acquaintances were getting loved up and married off, I was still kicking dirt and single as ever. It was becoming increasingly hard to meet available mates around my age who had decent jobs and a good head on their shoulders. I found myself going through hopeful date after hopeful date, only for my positive outlook to be diminished each time.

I grew tired of the game. I just wanted to cut to the chase; get down to brass tacks. “Look, I’m at the prime childbearing age, you wanna get married eventually or not?” is what I really wanted to ask them right out of the gate. Obviously, I didn’t. But I got to a certain point where I told myself to cut the charades and weed out the weak. I deduced that it was highly unlikely to find that one needle in a haystack by only observing and calculating moves from afar. I knew the faster I dove in and filtered the irrelevant, the faster I’d get to the man who would donate his sperm my soulmate. 

So that was precisely where my state of mind was at while sitting across from the guy I was on a first date with. As far as first dates went, things were going well. He checked off all the invisible boxes one tends to create for a meeting with an online suitor:

  • His face and body matched his profile picture
  • He was indeed the height he claimed to be
  • He was the appropriate age

Chemistry is a tricky thing. If you have it with someone, it’s almost imperceptible because everything just seems so natural. But if you don’t have that je ne sais quoi, it’s the biggest elephant in the room. Luckily for us, that chemistry was there from the beginning. I felt an instant mutual attraction and I knew I wanted to get to know him more.

We had actually connected online months earlier (banter emails back and forth only), but timing didn’t allow us to meet right then. A few months went by without any communication, and out of the blue he messaged me to see if I’d be interested in meeting up. I thought, “What the heck, sure!” Therefore, the day we met, I had all but forgotten the basic details of his life (i.e., age, occupation, the general area in which he lived, etc). But this didn’t faze me, I was excited to get to know him again (in-person).

When we started to circle back to basic get-to-know-me questions, age naturally came up. Right before I took a nervous sip of my water, I had asked him his age. To my shock and horror, he proceeded to tell me he was three years younger than me. In that moment, two things shot through my mind. Holy crap, I almost accidentally spat out my water at him. And then: Oh damn, I wonder if he knows how old I am?

Fortunately, he remembered my age from my profile and had no issues with the minor age difference. But that fact coupled with where I was in my life (no more bullcrap dating games), gave me the courage I needed to get straight to the point. And that’s when I blurted out the question. Something in me, I guess, just couldn’t allow myself to go down another road of wasted effort.

“So, where do you see yourself in five years?”

I wish I could tell you his answer was magical and topped off with a neatly wrapped bow, but it was everything but. The guy actually answered: “Hmm.. no idea; maybe move in with someone?” It took everything out of me to stay seated and not run for the hills. The only word that was emblazoned in my brain thereafter was: maybe. MAYBE? Maybe move in with someone in five years?!

So, naturally, I did what any single woman of that age does in this kind of situation: I chased him down (figuratively) until he was ready to love me the way I knew he could. Ha, just kidding (but not really). In actuality, the date ended without much fanfare and then I let him walk me home.

I wish I could tell you how that guy is doing but I can’t, simply because I have no idea. But sometimes I hear him whimpering in the basement. And that’s how I met my husband. It’s been almost nine years since the day we met, and I am happy to say we celebrated our five year wedding anniversary last August. More importantly, we are indeed living together.

Do you have a funny or memorable story of how you met your significant other (past or current)?

 

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54 thoughts on “Cutting to the Chase

    • hahah yep they’re all down there! LOL Wow, you have an interesting story! I have so many questions but I know it’s a personal story! I’m so glad it seems to have worked out for you instead and glad you didn’t run! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Well, I wish her luck, Jacqui! I didn’t mention it in the story but I was 30 when I met my husband and he was 27 so I definitely was working my way around trying to find that person for about 10 years before I actually ran into him and even then it wasn’t a perfect story! I hope your daughter meets the person she’s meant to be with soon! 🙂

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      • 😭😊 Jennnnnm thank u!! That means so much to hear. I definitely have people in mind sometimes when I’m writing, and I feel special that I infiltrated your psyche for this one, thank u!! Yes, I’m actually getting ready, feeling like it’s possible, to get back out there maybe in another month or so. Not sure if I will have luck on the apps but I think it’s maybe the best way to go. Of course everyone wants to meet someone naturally, but I don’t really care how. I just want a good guy. And yes thank u, I must keep my standards elevated, and I plan to, thank u!! ❤️‍🩹🌺

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Wow, great story!! ❤ And that's a great first-date question!! 😀 I'm so glad things worked out for you!! It seems like everything's come together so well in your life!!

    I don't have a significant other story, but I have a wild story about how I met Sonya, by BFF. This will have to be the short version. I joined a writer's forum (horrible place) where I met my then-friend Kristi (long story about how we broke up, but I don't blame myself). Through her I met a guy in Europe who was FB friends with her solely because they shared the same last name (no relation). That guy was a horrible person. Oh my goodness. He introduced me to Sonya. And then he kept trying to play us against each other. Like, he told me that Sonya was a sex addict and he felt unsafe when he was alone with her. (It's laughable.) He told her similarly bad things about me. I think we both knew he was full of it. Despite how much turmoil he created in my life, I'm still grateful to him. Go figure!

    Liked by 1 person

    • That is a wild story, Meg! Glad things worked out for you and Sonya and you guys kicked that guy to the curb! I would say, in my life, it seems like everything looks like it has worked out for me but I try to remember that it was more so because I accepted my fate/reality and made the best of it… it’s all one can really do no matter the cards they are dealt… 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Awwww. Happy Anniversary. ❤️
    Love the story and thank God people do fall in love via online dating (I was starting to doubt it). Wishing you both a lifetime of happiness together.

    PS: I know you’re tall so the height thing must be an even bigger deal breaker. But I’m 5’4 – I met this guy once for a date whose profile said he was 5’8 (not promising but I was okay with it). I was literally taller than him in the 3 inch heels I wore. 🙈

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks so much Moksha! I was inspired by Valentines’ Day to share that story, our anniversary is not until August. Yes, a lot of my friends have met significant others online so there’s definitely hope. I think the thing to always remember is to filter them out just as you would a stranger in a bar… I find it so easy for other to date multiples on an online platform so that was always my worry.

      You’re right about my height lol I am 5’9 and my husband is 6’4. I have met a few guys online who claimed they were 5’10 and then in-person they were legitimately like a head shorter than me (THINKING THAT I LIED ABOUT MY HEIGHT)! LOL I didn’t have the heart to tell them that they were indeed the short one…. LOL

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  3. My wife is two years older than me—a fact I’ve mentioned only a few thousand times since we’ve met. We tease each other all the time good-naturedly about things, and this is one of the regulars that I can always pull out of my playbook. My sister-in-law also married a younger man, so I like to tease them both about coming from a long line of cradle-robbers.😂

    My wife and I met in a teacher prep class in college. She enjoys telling people that she had her eye on me for some time before that. I played the role of the clueless male—something my wife teases me about regularly. She might say I have my role down so well that I deserve an Academy Award nomination.😊 Your hubby sounds a little like me. Another of my wife’s zingers is, “If it we’re up to you, we’d still be dating.”

    Liked by 2 people

    • hahaha cradle-robber is one of the monikers my husband has given me and he likes to ask me how old I am when he wants to get my attention LOL but truly, if you saw us, you’d think he was older so that I don’t mind so much. And yes, if it were up to my husband I’m sure we’d still be dating and living apart LOL.. sometimes you just have to go for exactly what you want!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Rob! I think you definitely meet a ton of people in your life who are meant to make a difference and others who are just there for a season. I am glad I met my husband when I did and I’m glad it wasn’t always perfect (it makes for a more colourful story for sure)! Our anniversary is in August but I was inspired by Valentines’ Day to share this story! Thanks so much for reading! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • haha me too! It really threw me for a loop! I didn’t mention it in the story but I was 30 and he was 27 and when he said 35 I felt like my life flashed before my eyes LOL (in terms of childbearing and marriage) hahaha

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I think Valentine’s Day has me inspired, I’ve been working on a similar post about how my husband and I met as well! I freakin loved your fun and funny quips in this. Congratulations on 9 years together and 5 years of marriage!

    Liked by 1 person

    • haha, thanks so much LaShelle! 5 years doesn’t sound like a long time but gosh, it feels like just about forever LOL mostly good though, lots of laughs so that’s all I can really hope for! I can’t wait to read about your story! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • LOL don’t stress girlfriend! I write 3x a week right now to help me build up content. There’s a super cool reason for that (got amazing news yesterday!!) but I can’t share that info until everything is buttoned up 😬. However… I think you’ll like the one I posted!! Looking forward to hearing your thoughts from one married woman to another 🥰

        Liked by 1 person

      • ahhh, yes there is something spendid about meeting a significant other when you’re more established in life (established in every sense: career, friends, passions, and self-awareness). That’s the hope at least! Thanks so much for sharing, Michelle! I always appreciate your perspective!

        Liked by 1 person

    • Sorry I totally missed this comment, Jennie! 🙂 You picked up a sailor! And engaged a month later? And married a few months after that??!! Wow, I kind of want to call you my hero!! I tried picking up a guy once.. I failed miserably lol… Congrats on your long-standing marriage! It’s enviable! 💓💕

      Liked by 1 person

      • It is a wonderful story, and it gets even better- there’s another woman involved, the one who was his date at the bar!!! She was his long time date over many years. When she called him on his birthday, right after we had become engaged, he squirmed trying to explain that the girl at the bar that night was now his future wife.

        There’s much to be said for common sense. When you know, you know. Why do people wait around when their heart already knows? Thank you, Jen!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: Stretching the legs, unclenching the brain: Feb. 13 – A Silly Place

  6. What a great story! And, honestly, I had no idea how it was going to end. Is this going to work out well? Is he The One? Does she kick him to the curb? So glad it’s a happy ending! Yeah for you!

    The beginning of this reminds me of my mom saying that she went on dates with other men, but my dad was the only one to ask, on the FIRST DATE, “How many kids do you want to have?” That stuck out for her. She knew this guy wasn’t messing around. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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