I Won the Lottery

One of my favourite things to do is dream about winning the lottery. I love going over the what if/if only scenarios of life. My husband and I often play this game where we decide what we would do with our winnings and the options are endless! But back to reality, okay fine, I didn’t actually win the lottery (sorry for that clickbait title, I couldn’t help it). I guess I won the equivalent of the lottery (at least to me). I gave myself a break: a guilt-free day off. To a middle-aged, married, working mother (of one preschooler), that’s the equivalent of freedom.

I know to some that seems inconsequential, tiny even. But for me, right now, it’s a dang breath of fresh air. I didn’t realize it, but I had been needing a day to myself for a while now. I kept putting it off thinking, well I work from home so that’s sort of like having the day to myself, but in reality, those days are more headless-chicken-frantic than namaste-Zen. A lot of us are still working from home so the lines between work and personal life are continually blending together. How do we begin to draw lines and separate boundaries? Mostly on work-from-home days, I end up feeling like I’m working two jobs: my regular 8-4 and then trying to catch up on household chores as the clock winds down to school pick-up time. It always shocks me how fast time flies on those days.

Here’s the thing, self-care is so important during normal times, but during pandemic times, I think it is even more crucial. But even knowing this, I still had a hard to time seeing it. I finally recognized that I was denying myself a true break because in my mind I was minimizing my life and the importance of that personal time. Unadulterated personal (me-alone) time to do whatever the heck I felt like.

So, I went to bed last Wednesday night knowing the next day was going to be a usual work-from-home day. But before I could even get out of bed on Thursday morning, I decided I’d give myself that day off I had been desperately needing. (Side note: I do realize how privileged this is. I know not everyone has the ability to give themselves a day off so I can appreciate that nuance here.) I made a quick mental list of all the things I wanted to do and all the things I had to do for me to feel like I was in a good place mentally (for me, these are the nagging chores I keep deferring like washing the floors or giving the ensuite shower a good scrub).

One of the things I also wanted to do was run to my local Starbucks to get some writing time in. I had been craving a good writing day away from the house and that day seemed like a perfect day as any. So, right after I dropped off Charlotte at daycare, I bolted to the café to make sure I’d get the coveted (distanced and isolated) corner table. Of course, I had to document this glorious day and share a photo with my friends but then things took a sharp turn- an embarrassing one.  

As I was sending the above photo to my Whatsapp group chat, I noticed an icon option I hadn’t seen before pop up while trying to share the content: “Share with Lucy.” That piqued my interest so I clicked on it thinking it would give me more information about who this Lucy was (perhaps it was a patient or work-related associate I had previously been in contact with) but to my horror, the screen indicated it had commenced sharing. My fingers pecked furiously at my phone trying to stop time but no matter what I pressed, it was not retracting the message. Within the span of ten seconds, my life flashed before my eyes. I had so many questions racing through my mind but ultimately realized what it was doing. I WAS ACTUALLY SHARING THAT PHOTO WITH ANOTHER PATRON IN THE EXACT CAFÉ I WAS SITTING IN! To say that I was mortified is the biggest understatement of my life.

Luckily, Lucy denied the file share. Thank you, Lucy. I managed to avoid eye contact with all three female patrons until I eventually left (three hours later). In the end, it gave me a good laugh and I let it roll off my back- no sweat. When I got home, after catching up on some of those long overdue chores, I plopped myself in front of the tv and started my paint-by-numbers project I’d purchased a few weeks back. It was such a lovely day!

What would you do if you had a day off from all your responsibilities and chores; if everyone was taken care of and no one needed anything from you? What would your day look like? 

 

Liked this post? Check out other popular posts on my blog:

• The Mighty
• Rethinking Pink
• All the Small Things
• The Fear
• Where I Come From