Opposites attract, the popular saying goes. If that’s true, well, then my husband and I are magnetic forces to one another because I’ve never met another person who is more the opposite of me. In most ways, we are opposite souls; yin and yang. But in other ways (I prefer to think the ones that matter most), we are exact carbon copies of each other. We seem to align perfectly on life goals, sense of humour, the way we choose to spend our time and money, and how we want to raise our daughter.
This coming Saturday, my husband and I will be celebrating 6 years of marriage.
Sorry, I had to take a moment to calculate that in my head. Yes, 6 whole years in which we did not successfully kill each other. I call that a BIG win. As life progresses, the years tend to blend into one another, don’t they?
On our very first wedding anniversary, I asked my husband how he thought our first year of marriage went. We had been through a tough year, one that shifted the very foundation we built our relationship on. We’d been lucky to come out the other end, scars and all but still intact. And his honest answer was that it was a lot harder than he thought it would be, but also a great year for our growth as a couple.
One of the things that comes naturally to humans is that we tend to compare ourselves and our possessions to others and what they have. What do they have? I don’t have that, I want that. We may not always realize we’re doing it because it’s so caked into the fabric of our culture. Some of us chase things (materials, money, partners, career) because we see others doing the same, therefore it, too, must apply to us.
When I was single in my 20s (for a full decade), I remember thinking, “God, if only I could just find my person and be married. Then my life would be perfect, just like everyone else around me.” The grass, as they say, always seemed greener. What I didn’t realize was that I was putting the idea of marriage, a marriage to anyone, on a weak pedestal. My ultimate goal was to simply touch that finish line without any real idea for what would lie ahead and the work it would require.
If I could go back and tell my 20-something single-self anything, I’d tell her what to look for:
Find someone who doesn’t mind doing the chores you hate and vise versa.
Find someone who makes you laugh so hard you end crying on the floor clutching your insides.
Find someone who always wants to truce because they ultimately want to make things work.
Because that’s what matters and makes our marriage work: compromise, laughter, and communication.
Happy 6th. I love you. There’s no one else I’d rather put up with more than you (despite being contractually obligated by marital status to put up with you, I still probably would’ve done it for free). That’s true love.
Do you think the old adage of ‘opposites attract’ is true? Any personal experience to share?
Liked this post? Check out other popular posts on my blog: