Crazy Love

In observance of Valentine’s Day this coming Sunday, I thought I would dedicate today’s post to the spirit of love. Yea, I don’t really know what that means either but go with me for a minute. Full disclosure: we don’t actually celebrate Valentine’s Day in our house. If it weren’t for covid, we might have gone out for dinner (not for any reason other than we all need to eat at some point so why not) and would’ve called it a day without much hoopla or recognition. For the record, celebrating or not celebrating this occasion is, to me, not an indicator for the abundance or absence of love in a relationship.

Anyway, since we’re all here I thought I would share some amazing bonuses to being married while we’re on the topic of love (also, a girl needs content):

• You always have someone else to drive you around. You might get to your destination with one more reason to start anxiety medication, but you’ll get there nonetheless!
• Gaining extra weight is nearly impossible because someone is always there to eat the rest of your meal… even as you’re eating it.
• You become a pro at splitting things in exact equal parts like every scone, piece of cake/pie or delicious treat because any discrepancy in portion size could lead to an argument about which spouse is trying to mentally harm the other.
• You don’t need a hairdresser during lockdown. Albeit there will be some yelling, your hair likely won’t be straight (or far from it), you’ll wonder if your spouse is horizontally challenged, and you’ll probably look like you belong on the set of “Girl Interrupted II” as a movie extra.
• You become exceptionally skillful at finding creative places to hide your favourite snacks.
• You always get some sort of gift every time you enter your ensuite bathroom (think wet counter, the obvious, or beard hair decorating your sink).
• You are never alone… when watching your weekly show. There is always some sort of background commentary to remind you that you don’t live with an adult but a distinct man-child who likes to make fun of what you watch.

All jokes aside, Valentine’s Day can be a hard day for some. Maybe you lost a partner recently and this will be the first Valentine’s Day without them or perhaps you are finding it particularly tough to be on your own at the moment. Whatever the reason, I hope you see the love that exists in your life and find comfort in knowing that you are not alone. I think, in life, it’s important to consistently maintain full perspective and be positive, but also to be as realistic as possible. No relationship is perfect, not everyone is happy all the time. Marriage is lovely and it is hard. Being single is liberating and it can be challenging at times. This weekend (and maybe all the days of the year), let’s try to remember and celebrate all the types of love in our lives.

To my husband: I am the crazy one- thank you for seeing my crazy, pretending it isn’t there most days, and loving me anyway. 

 

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December 5, 2015

What do you say about one of the people you love the most in this world? I could tell you how wonderful she is, how caring and thoughtful she is to her family and how loyal she is to her friends and those dearest to her; that her sense of self is more solid than anyone I’ve ever met– that her abilities are endless. But that wouldn’t be a fun speech. It would be a nice speech but not a fun one.

So let’s start from the beginning. Growing up with Liz was pretty unmemorable I have to say. She always kept to herself and minded her own business- so much so that Helen and I didn’t even really notice her until we were about 4 and 6 years of age. Me 4, Helen 6 that is. Liz was always a quiet and patient child. She was carefree and simple-natured. If she ever thought something was unfair or felt an injustice inflicted upon her she would make her feelings quietly known but then quickly move on. That’s the thing about Liz– she has a unique resilience and a quiet strength about her.

Which is the exact opposite of who I know her to be today.

For those of you who know her well too, you’ll often recognize her singular brand of tough-love. A barrier that is extremely difficult to puncture. She doesn’t allow others to feel sorry for themselves which is very difficult for me, as I often feel very sorry for myself. She finds ways to remind you how short life is, how privileged we are but sometimes her words are a little harsher than she intends them to be. Here are some examples of our past exchanges on every day subject matters:

Me: I don’t want to eat that.
Liz: That’s all we have you little Baluga.

Me: It’s freezing out! I’m so cold.
Liz: That’s because you have no soul.

Me: He doesn’t like me.
Liz: Who cares, nobody does. Move on.

Me: I didn’t get the job.
Liz: You’ll get another one. Stop being a cry baby.

Me: I’ve been sick for over a week…
Liz: That’s because you’re a diseased weakling.

As harsh as her words are sometimes, you can almost, almost (sometimes you have to try real, real hard) to see the nugget of compassion in her words. She really just wants you to stand up to life and stare fear in the eyes and let the chips fall where they may. And just accept it like a champ.

And thus, my ability to function as a human being on as high a level as I do today, is fully credited to her. She is not only my little sister- she is my caregiver, my reality check, my rock and clearly, as per the examples above- my bully. And so, I thank her- for if there was no her, there would be less of me.

I’d now like to take this opportunity, on behalf of Liz and Adam, to thank two very important people. For without these two people, there would be no union to celebrate. And these two people are: myself and Camille. You see, Liz met Adam through Mike who was at the time dating Nikki (now married) who was introduced by Rita who is our friend and also Mike’s brother Mat’s wife. So you see, if not for Cam and I, none of you would be here on this day, drinking unlimited free booze. You’re all very welcome.

Until Liz met Adam, there was only one person in Liz’s life that was as obsessed with her as he is today. That person is me. So Adam, I hope you can forgive me for how protective I was of Liz when you both first started dating. Not so much protective of her heart, but more so protective of our time together. I am not certain of much- but I do know this – two people as in love as you two are, should never be separated, not even by me, not even for a minute. You are the mate to her soul.

And finally, I’d like to officially welcome Adam into our family. Not only have you always been there for Liz, but you have always been a strong member of this family, even from the beginning. It has been a pleasure getting to know you. Heck, you blend in so well sometimes I forget you’re white and we’re Asian.

So, what do you say about one of the people you simply cannot live without? You say that she is simply the best person you know.

A toast- may you both always remember this day and remember how well I spoke of you two but most of all, how much love is in this room. To love, laughter and happily ever after. To Liz and Adam!