“Do not, I repeat, do not make direct eye contact with her,” I half whisper-screamed at my husband before physically jostling him to shift his body so that his back was facing her. I knew his forlorn facial expression could give it all away. “You know, she can smell your weakness,” I imagined warning him. I wanted to gently (yet not so gently) slap his Continue reading
Tag Archives: toddler
I’m An Asshole
My husband and I have been held hostage. It will be 3 years this coming April. The cavalry isn’t coming; hostage rescue has been halted
mainly only because the offender is my 2-year-old toddler, and well, she won’t leave.
Most days it feels like we’re being held captive by an unreasonable foreigner who we have a major communication barrier with (and other days, we wonder if there are a few cards missing in her deck). In other words, my toddler is absolutely insane! I’m sorry, that’s not entirely Continue reading