Game Over

“Oh God, this is terribly embarrassing,” I sheepishly admitted to the clinic nurse on the phone. I had urgently called my family doctor to discuss a recent pinky finger injury. Calling my family doctor is a three-step process usually; the receptionist will have a nurse call me back to assess the situation, after which I may or may not need to speak to my doctor. Well, the nurse had called me back and I was hoping we could just go straight into booking an x-ray without Continue reading

Stranger Danger

I live my life constantly ready for battle. I try to operate on a level of awareness reminiscent of man preparing for war. Okay- I actually don’t know what it’s like to go to war and I can barely keep my cool while killing a household centipede but what I mean is, I am always primed for all unforeseen and/or violent scenarios that may occur in life. For example, when waiting to cross the street, I always Continue reading

Crazy Love

In observance of Valentine’s Day this coming Sunday, I thought I would dedicate today’s post to the spirit of love. heartsYea, I don’t really know what that means either but go with me for a minute. Full disclosure: we don’t actually celebrate Valentine’s Day in our house. If it weren’t for covid, we might have gone out for dinner (not for any reason other than we all need to eat at some point so why not) and would’ve called it a day without much hoopla or recognition. For the record, celebrating or not celebrating this occasion is, to me, not an indicator for the abundance or absence of love in a relationship.

Anyway, since we’re all here I thought I would share some amazing bonuses to being married while we’re on the topic of love (also, a girl needs content):

  • You always have someone else to drive you around. You might get to your destination with one more reason to start anxiety medication, but you’ll get there nonetheless!
  • Gaining extra weight is nearly impossible because someone is always there to eat the rest of your meal… even as you’re eating it.
  • You become a pro at splitting things in exact equal parts like every scone, piece of cake/pie or delicious treat because any discrepancy in portion size could lead to an argument about which spouse is trying to mentally harm the other.
  • You don’t need a hairdresser during lockdown. girl interruptedAlbeit there will be some yelling, your hair likely won’t be straight (or far from it), you’ll wonder if your spouse is horizontally challenged, and you’ll probably look like you belong on the set of “Girl Interrupted II” as a movie extra.
  • You become exceptionally skillful at finding creative places to hide your favourite snacks.
  • You always get some sort of gift every time you enter your ensuite bathroom (think wet counter, the obvious, or beard hair decorating your sink).
  • You are never alone… when watching your weekly show. There is always some sort of background commentary to remind you that you don’t live with an adult but a distinct man-child who likes to make fun of what you watch.

All jokes aside, Valentine’s Day can be a hard day for some. Maybe you lost a partner recently and this will be the first Valentine’s Day without them or perhaps you are finding it particularly tough to be on your own at the moment. Whatever the reason, I hope you see the love that exists in your life and find comfort in knowing that you are not alone. I think, in life, it’s important to consistently maintain full perspective and be positive, but also to be as realistic as possible. No relationship is perfect, not everyone is happy all the time. Marriage is lovely and it is hard. Being single is liberating and it can be challenging at times. This weekend (and maybe all the days of the year), let’s try to remember and celebrate all the types of love in our lives.

To my husband: I am the crazy one- thank you for seeing my crazy, pretending it isn’t there most days, and loving me anyway. 

 

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I’m An Asshole

My husband and I have been held hostage. It will be 3 years this coming April. The cavalry isn’t coming; hostage rescue has been halted mainly only because the offender is my 2-year-old toddler, and well, she won’t leave. 

Most days it feels like we’re being held captive by an unreasonable foreigner who we have a Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexelsmajor communication barrier with (and other days, we wonder if there are a few cards missing in her deck). In other words, my toddler is absolutely insane! I’m sorry, that’s not entirely Continue reading